The Momma Guide — Chapter 2
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
-Bob Wells
To balance everything in our lives can make us feel like
we are trying to accomplish the “impossible dream.”
We’ve been there and it’s not impossible to balance your
lives; you just need some tips.
A filing cabinet is a great way to keep things organized. Purchase
a box of Manila folders, hanging folders, labels, and magic marker. Use
the hanging folder for major categories, with subfolders.
For example, the major category is Insurance. Sub folders would
be Car, Life, Medical, or Homeowners. Label each folder. Some others
could include banking, loans, taxes, medical, and more.
We, as moms, should delegate tasks to our children (and hubby)
no matter how old. This will help them become responsible
adults…even your spouse will become more responsible.
Everyone needs to know how to wash dishes, (even with a
dishwasher) make beds, and carry out trash…just sharing that will help
you out. We know that this might be a tug of war to get your family to
do this, however, hold your ground. We all need help and moms are not
the only ones who live under the same roof.
If they don’t do it the way you want, don’t get mad. Any help is
better than no help at all!
At work, we have everything organized as well. Keep a task pad
with your priorities on it and check them off after completion. You can
use your computer if you have one. We do this and it makes such a
difference in our priorities.
Make sure of any overtime so that you can adjust your schedule
at home or arrange to have that day off. Many employers are flexible
with this because so many mothers are working now. We both have
multiple businesses that need attention. Sometimes moms wear various
hats and need help.
Be sure if you want to schedule a vacation that you do so in
plenty of time. It would best if you put it in writing and have your
supervisor sign off on it, just in case there is a discrepancy.
Life throws many obstacles at us. Managing all of them can be
very stressful, especially if you work…believe us, we know!
We all must take time out for ourselves too. Work and family
cannot take up all of your life…schedule time just for you.
Put a calendar on your refrigerator and schedule days as to time
off…“your time,” vacations, special days for children activities, etc. That
way you will always know what’s going on, even if your mind doesn’t
register. Cha ching!
“Whenever you see darkness, there is an extraordinary opportunity for the light to
burn brighter.”
-Bono
We love to go and get a massage together. You feel so good and
relaxed as your problems just melt away…try it! Call up a girlfriend and
just go. Hire a baby sitter or a family member so you can be there with a
clear mind. Then you can devote the “down” time to mom without
worrying about the kids.
Most of us seem to be “responsible” for the household. We take
care of the family, run kids around, usually work, pay bills, etc.
We sometimes feel as if the weight of the world is on our
shoulders, even if we don’t show it. We have to be perfect for work and
home, but we cannot be perfect all the TIME!
I’m sure that you have seen those “SUPERMOMS.” You wish
you had it all together as they seem to, but you have no idea what goes
on at their home. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Then again, learn how to say “no” no matter how bad you want
to say “yes.” Don’t worry about being a super mom if it is going to wear
you out. Do what you can do and don’t let people make you feel guilty
or stressed out for saying “no.” Saying “no” feels good…try it!
This is a huge problem for women. We are taught to nurture and
adjust ourselves to everyone’s problems. We feel guilty when we tell a
person we cannot do them a favor. Be sure and check your schedule or
tell them the next day when you know for sure. This will reduce your
stress when you later notice that it has put you on “overload.”
Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.
At some time or another other, people break when they have to
do everything and keep up appearances. It’s just because men are not
usually good at these things. However, don’t take it all on yourself. You
are not the only responsible person in your marriage.
We must ask for help when we need it because if we don’t,
“burnout” will set in as well as fatigue, aches, pains, mental problems,
depression, and exasperation.
DON’T EVEN GO THERE IF YOU CAN HELP IT.
Even though you feel as though you’re the only one who can
manage everything, trust your spouse…I’m sure they will come to the
rescue. This may make them realize and appreciate what you do and see
that they are more a part of your family when they help.
Let go of that “my way or the highway” idea. Let him do things
his way, and if there’s something that really needs changing…just talk to
him. You cannot be “super mom”” all the time.
You need to spend quality time with your spouse. Don’t forget
that. You may be tired from your day’s work, but sit down and talk
about your day together. Make sure you have the time to be intimate
without the kids hammering on your bedroom door. Sometimes this can
be a frustrating feat, but I guess all of us moms have been in that
situation before.
You MUST take 30 minutes to 1 hour a day to do something for
yourself. It may be taking a bubble bath, lunching with friends, having a
manicure, shopping, getting a body wrap, (while taking off a few inches)
taking a walk with your spouse …something that relaxes you and makes
you feel good.
Children need that quality time too. Moms should make sure that
we sit and talk with them about their day. Go somewhere they want to
go once a week, if you can…be involved. Also, don’t forget that they
need time with your spouse too.
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
– Winston Churchill
Take pride in the way you and your kids look – we have so many
of our friends’ children who show up here and there with miss-matched
socks. It’s not that hard to match socks…you can even do it in front of
the television. We do this and make it a game or family time to talk!
Our bodies need lots of rest to refuel for the next hectic day. Get
up a little early and take a walk, run, or go to the gym. This invigorates
you for your busy day and will help with the depression that comes with
feeling overwhelmed.
We need to realize that having happiness in our lives can help
tremendously. Recognize your power to choose. We don’t have to do
what others say, do what you want to do…unless it’s your job…he-he!
Use your strengths and weaknesses; this will work to your
benefit. You can try changing things around. Do the opposite of what
you’ve been doing, such as taking a different route to work. This is like
a game and should be very enjoyable. We can all get a little bored with
our everyday routines.
Our dreams are very important. Try to realize them if you can. If
not, try to find something else that you can accomplish.
It’s hard to glance back and see that we are not at a point in our
lives to accomplish these goals. Something is constantly there to replace
them. We merit all the happiness in our lives as we can possibly obtain!
Do something to make someone else have happiness in his or her
lives. (That is what we are trying to do with this book.)
Hold the door open for someone, offer to help an elderly person
load their groceries…pay it forward, it will always come back to you.
Fill out the following. It might help you know what areas you
need to work on to find a better balance in your life.
“Optimism is a cheerful frame of mind that enables a tea kettle to sing through its in
hot water up to its nose.”
1. What really matters to you?
2. What activities can you get rid of?
3. Are you a workaholic?
4. What do you need to do to take care of yourself?
5. Does your family eat dinner together?
6. How can you find time for you?
7. How can you simplify your life?
8. Who can help you if you need it to balance your life?
9. How can you “pace” yourself?
10. When was your last checkup?
11. Do you have a “family night?”
12. What were your goals in life before you had kids?
13. What are your goals now?
Dream as big as you can dream, and anything is possible.
